2013 Year End Blog: The Year to Live, Laugh, and Love

Well, here we are again, the beginning of a new year.  It is so hard to believe that 2013 is gone. It seems the older I get, the faster time goes by.  Honestly, I don’t mind it as much as I used to.  When you’re a law student, you kind of wish it to go by as fast as it possibly can.  That kind of torture really isn’t fun to endure continuously.  When I graduate however, I’ll be OK with it slowing down a bit.  I want to enjoy every second of life, just like I have the past year. 

Anyway, let’s reminisce a little, shall we?

2013 was quite possibly the best year of my life, thus far, for a lot of reasons.  This year, I completed not only my first year of law school in the Spring, but I reached the halfway point in December.  It’s an indescribable feeling to have reached the top of the mountain and be on the way back down.  In the beginning of 2013, I began a new relationship with Frank Wayne Baker, II, who is absolutely perfect for me, and who has made this year both amazing and unforgettable.  The feeling of knowing you have met the one God created for you is more than a miracle, and it was certainly unexpected. 

In 2013, I gained a lot of respect for myself; I became more comfortable with who I was and where I was in life, more so than I have ever been before.  Whether that came from accomplishments in school, losing weight, from Frankie or from something else is really immaterial; the important thing is that it happened.  2013 was the best.  I hate to see it end.   

I did some forgiving in 2013.  Not forgetting – that’s nearly impossible – but forgiving.  That’s the important part.  Once you’ve found happiness…not content-ness, but real happiness…there is just no need for grudges or ill feelings in your heart.  You don’t have the energy to put into those reactions, only into being happy and making sure that happiness continues forward.  It is a great feeling to be free of such baggage.  Everyone should try lightening their load in that department.  You’ll thank me later, really.

I got tougher in 2013.  Maybe I just grew up.  But when the words "possible death if untreated" are spoken, you grow up fast.  Surgery fears become minimal to the fear of dying prematurely.

My first scare came in January.  It wasn't technically my first surgery since it was laser, but it was more than anything I'd ever had done in that department.  I found out the first week in January that I had a pre-cancerous mole on my arm.  I'd had it my whole life.  It looked normal to me.  But when I went in for my annual dermatology check up, they immediately wanted to do a biopsy.  That biopsy showed early signs of melanoma.  I had to have it removed January 31.  They took it off with a laser, and I admit I was nervous.  But once the Valium kicked in, I could have cared less.  Not that I'm an avid Valium user, it was just the one time.  But I understand now why people take it on airplanes.  It's very....calming.  But I asked the doctor where this came from.  I was like, uh, how did that happen?  The doctors response was of course, the tanning bed.  I liked to tan.  I loved the way I looked with darker tones.  Unfortunately, no more tanning for me.  Doctors orders.  Pale kids are at too high of a risk.  I'll just have to try the sun...if it ever shows it's face again.

The second scare came in October, the legit surgery.  Frankie and I had went to Gatlinburg on the bank employee trip.  I noticed I was a little sickly, but I attributed it to eating a banana.  Yes, you read right, a banana.  They hate me.  They tempt me with their deliciousness and then they unleash a world of torment on my innards.  After it didn't go away in a few hours, I had to go lay down.  I thought it was a somewhat unusual feeling, but I ate some salty fries and felt better, so I told myself it was in my head.  I felt normal that night, we went back out and did laser tag and ate some Bubba Gumps.  The next day, I started hurting.  Hurting as in, "yikes! Where'd that come from?"  I thought it was everything under the sun.  My gallbladder, pulled muscle, even gas.  The next day I went to school, and it hurt when I moved.  I thought it would go away.  I drove to Northern Kentucky, went to class, then the grocery, lugged two cases of water and a ton more crap up my stairs, did some homework, and went to sleep.  The next morning I attempted to run like normal, but it was clear that was not in the cards.  I decided it MIGHT be a good idea to go to the campus nurse.  She did her little examination and then told me she was sending me to the ER.  Those are not words you want to hear when you have the hardest class of the semester in one hour.  Constitutional Law was my favorite class, too.  What could possibly be wrong?  "Possible" Appendicitis.  Really, there was no possible to it.  I had it.  I knew I had it.  I knew I had it since Sunday but I tried to find everything else wrong instead of admitting I had it.  They sent me to Good Samaritan hospital in Cincinnati, where I was asked 48739674598 times where I was from.  They don't get many southerners through there I suppose.  But, three hours later I was checked out.  Thankfully, my sweet cousin Deanna was close by and came to stay with me so I wouldn't be by myself.  I had called Frankie the minute I headed to the hospital and he left almost immediately.  He made it about the time they wheeled me into the CT scan.  Dad and Leroy made it about 20 minutes before the wheeled me into surgery.  Surgery.  Ugh.  But, I was a "big girl" as Lida would say.  I took it like a champ.  Even made a few jokes.  Poor Frankie was a trooper, he never left my side.  He even slept in an old upright, hard chair all night as uncomfortable as it was.  The next day I went home to recuperate.  It took a while to get back to myself, but like I said, I got tougher.  I went back to school after a couple days and the weekend to the dismay of many.  But I'm not a quitter.  I'm a fighter.  Never give up, never back down, that's what I've always said....

On another note, I traveled a lot in 2013.  Nowhere exotic, but still, I did a lot of things I had always wanted.  I was privileged to go to the CMA Awards, including the Dress Rehearsal, I seen Katt Williams, AND…. ZZ Top – all things on my bucket list.  Frankie and I took a small vacation to Pigeon Forge after my first year of law school was complete in May.  It was the first time I’d stayed that high up on a mountain in a cabin, and I fell in LOVE with it.  We went to Chattanooga in the Summer, somewhere else I’d never been.  While there, I visited an aquarium for the first time, had my first IMAX experience, and saw the very interesting wonders of Rock City, Ruby Falls, and the Incline.  Also, I went to my first Hacker conference with Frankie, not that I understood it completely, but I went, and I learned a few things nonetheless.  That same trip, I got to take my first riverboat ride.  I saw the Moonbow at Cumberland Falls for the first time.  Well, what there was of it anyway.    Privileged we are, and we were judged I’m sure. BUT, if you don’t do the things you love while you can, you never will, because someday, you won’t be able to.  Enjoy life – death comes in the blink of an eye.

The truth is, every year has its ups and downs, but its up to you to make the best of what you have.  I was lucky enough to have some really amazing people to share my life with this year.  I made new friends, gained new family, and enjoyed every day of it, for the most part.  On that note, I’d like to take you back to the beginning. 

The end of 2012 wasn’t really that great.  Truthfully, it was one of the hardest times of my life, for more reasons than I care to discuss.  But, things began to look up in January. 

January 7, 2013, I was on my way back from visiting Jess and James in Somerset when I decided to text an old friend about a building he had rented in town because my friend Ashleigh was looking for a possible rental for a coffee shop. (Yes, I was texting and driving, so sue me…)  I was only expecting a quick conversation; just an answer to my few questions and that would be the end.   But it wasn’t. Not. At. All.

I got an unexpected text that said, “You wouldn’t know any single girls, would you? I’d sure like to find one.”

I thought for a moment.  I wasn’t sure if I was reading too much into this or if it was in fact somewhat of a flirtatious move on his behalf.  So, I analyzed for a minute.  He had always hugged me when he ran into me.  He had obviously kept my number throughout the years to know it was me when I texted.  This seems plausible.  So, I texted back…

“Well, I know one, but she might not count.”

“Who? Why wouldn’t she count?”

“Umm, me….”

I was considering the fact that I might not count because he was a friend of my brothers.  That didn’t seem to matter.  He hinted that in the event he dated me, he would ask my brother’s permission first. 

I’m not gonna lie, I was impressed. 

Truthfully, I was impressed with both of us.  Had I been face to face in such a conversation, it probably wouldn’t have happened considering I’m usually far more reserved and shy when somebody is looking at me.  I get a lot braver behind a silent conversation on a screen.

Our conversation continued until after I got home and went to bed.  The next week I found myself dropping by the bank to say hello and hanging out for a bit.  The next thing I knew, we were seeing each other every spare minute for 3 weeks.  During that time he did ask my brother for permission to date me.  February 1, 2013, at about 4:30 P.M., he asked me officially and of course, I accepted.  That same night, he met my parents.  He was a perfect gentleman.  The rest is kind of history, as they say.  I’d like to think we knew from that first conversation where we were headed.   At least I think I knew. 

You dream about that person your entire life.  You watch others fall in love and get married.  You get to be a bridesmaid in like, 8 weddings.  And then you end up heartbroken and single and wondering where you went wrong.   Shortly after, you find yourself unexpectedly being crazy about somebody you have known nearly half your life but have only dating a very short time.  Yet, you realize you’re meant to be.  Nearly a year later, you can read each others minds, you finish each others sentences, and you are probably making people sick.  Sorry not sorry.  Frankie is my miracle.  He is the one I always hoped I’d find.  He knows me inside and out, he is always trying to find a way to make my life easier, he does things without me even asking him to, and most importantly, he loves me unconditionally.  There is nothing more you can ask for.  Our goal is to stay this way forever.  We rarely squabble, because we talk about everything, but we also listen to each other.  More importantly, we pray for each other.  A relationship without God is a relationship missing a vital organ. 

Not too long from now, I expect he’ll talk to dad.  We’ve looked at rings.  We’ve talked about the future, and we know that we want to spend it with each other.  We can’t get married until I graduate, per dad’s premature instructions, but some things are worth the wait.  He certainly was.  

2013 went by fast, it did.  I stayed so busy that I don’t know if I really took time to take it in as much as I should have.  But, time flies when you’re having fun.  And I have had fun.  I have learned that life was made to enjoy.  Yes, school is important, but so is family.  Fun is important.  I haven’t got my grades back yet, but I know that it won’t matter to me if they aren’t the best possible.  Because in 2013, I did something I never really tried to do before:

I LIVED.  

Not only that, but I made the decision to continue living.  There are no second chances.  Life waits for no one. 

There are just some things you will learn by a certain age.  When you’re a teenager, you think your parents are total idiots.  Seriously, somehow you talk yourself into the idea that they are the dumbest people on the planet.  They aren’t.  Surprised?  Me too.  We all are when we grow up and figure out they were a lot smarter than we gave them credit for.  But that’s the cycle of life.  We all go through it, its history repeating; it’s human nature.  One of the things you learn is that life is shorter than you thought.  First you’re 16.  You thank the Lord you can finally get that driver’s license.  Then you’re 18 – adulthood – the age we all waited for.  I just wanted to vote… But then 21 rolls around.  Drinking isn’t as fun when it’s legal, and if honest we all can admit we tried a sip or two.  Some of us liked it, some of us didn’t, and some of us liked it for a while until it lost its flavor.  The next thing you know, you’re 25.  That’s ¼ of 100.  The average life span is nowhere close to that.  I just depressed you more than likely, especially if you’re over the 25 mark – my apologies.   I’m 26.  I cried on my 25^th birthday.   Now I’m learning to live with it, hence, the learning to LIVE part. 

But, there are unfortunately other lessons about life.  During my last month of school, Frankie’s uncle Jim got sick and we thought we were going lose him.  During my finals, he lost his Big Mommy, and somehow by the grace of GOD and the good LORD above, I was able to be there for him and still complete finals.   There is no amount of explanation that could describe the feeling you have knowing that the other half of your heart is breaking and you can’t be there for them.  BUT the LORD found a way.  And I’m grateful he did. 

Losing someone close to you, a pillar in your life, is the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with.  When I lost my granny, it was a gut-wrenching pain that I have never fully gotten over, I’ve just gotten better at living with it.  I still dream about her.  I still feel her, especially when I’m in her house.  I still miss her.  Every.  Single.  Day.   I knew what Frankie was feeling.  He and the family losing Big Mommy was just a reminder of my own shadowed hurt, but also a reminder that life does go on.  One way, or another. 

You also learn by this time that your parents, especially your dad, IF you’re lucky enough to still have them, aren’t as invincible as you once thought.  You figure out their years are numbered, their health is deteriorating and it’s just a matter of time.  You realize that repetitive YouTube videos and Fox News aren’t as punishing as you thought, if that’s the only time you have with your parents, you’ll come around.  They won’t be here forever.  None of us will.  

  

Again, LIFE waits for no one.  It just keeps happening.  Time keeps moving forward whether we want it to or not.  We get older, we lose the ones we love, and we have to find a way to live even in the times when we think we cannot.  We have to find the good in life even when it seems impossible.   And, even truer than that, once our time is over on this earth, there is no going back and starting over.  Whatever we leave behind is our legacy, for better or worse.  My intention is to be like my granny, like Big Mommy, and all the other people I’ve lost, including George Jones. 

Yes, George Jones.  I lost one of my Country Music Heroes this year, a day I never wanted to see come either.  My father and I were ridiculed but it was hard for some to really understood this loss, and how close you can feel to somebody you’ve met only once and never really knew, just through their voice and their music, and the void you feel when they are gone. 

In 2013, I made the decision to LIVE, to LOVE, and to create a LEGACY that will stand strong, long after I’m gone.

In 2013, I made a lot of changes in my life.  But in 2014, I’m vowing to make a few more.  I’m gonna be a better Christian.  I’m gonna be a better student.  A better daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend (maybe even fiancé…), and anything else I can be.  In 2014, I’m going to continue living.  I’m gonna make memories that I can tell my children and grandchildren about some day.  I’m gonna make every second of my life count.  I’m gonna travel more, I’m gonna work harder, and I’m gonna enjoy every moment.  I’m gonna spend every moment with the best friends in the world, the sweet little faces that I have come to love and that have come to love me, with my family as long as I have them for, and with the other half of my heart. 

Hey, I also drove on snow for the first time this year.  I can do ANYTHING! Well, maybe not, but I can darn sure try.

My advice to you is to do the same.  If you don’t like something about your life, CHANGE IT.  If you don’t like the people in your life, CHANGE THEM.  You and ONLY you can control who you are, where you are, and where you go in your life.  Start making your days count.  Start working toward your goals and how you can achieve them.  Leave behind something you can be proud of, not something you’d be ashamed of. 

I want to thank all the people in my life that I couldn’t make it without for helping me get where I am, and helping me to keep going.  You know who you are.  I tell you often.  2013 was truly an amazing year.  I can’t wait to see what 2014 holds in store.  If it’s anything like 2013, it can only get better from here.

<3 Jess    

Song for this Blog:

"Comin' Around"     

By: Josh Thompson 

It was like nails on a chalkboard when daddy played his kind of music
If you’d asked me then I’d said it was borderline abusive
But I’m gettin’ to where I don’t mind it now
I’m comin’ around

I blew out of here the next day after graduation
Destination anywhere with a higher population
Never to return to this tiny town
But I’m comin’ around

I’m comin’ around, I’m figuring out a lot of things I thought I knew
I never dreamed I’d be seeing things from this point of view
I’m still a little ways from slowing it all the way down
But I’m comin’ around

I’m comin’ around, I’m figuring out a lot of things I thought I knew
I never dreamed I’d be seeing things from this point of view
I’m still a little ways from slowing it all the way down
But I’m comin’ around

I never been that big a fan of gettin’ up on Sunday morning
And listenin’ to that ol’ preacher talk was always kinda boring
I’m still a little more lost than I am found
But I’m comin’ around
Yeah, I’m comin’ around

I’m comin’ around, I’m figuring out a lot of things I thought I knew
I never dreamed I’d be seeing things from this point of view
I’m still a little ways from slowing it all the way down
But I’m comin’ around
Yeah, I’m comin’ around

70 things I learned in my 20s -- Most of these I can say I have learned this year.

 Check out this link to see them:

70 Things I Learned In My 20s

One Last Look at 2013:

Our very first picture together :)

  

                                                                 First picture of 2014 :)

 

It's Really NOT About Turkey...

Many of us refer to this holiday as "Turkey Day" but it's really not about turkey.  Yes, Thanksgiving is said to have begun in 1621 when the Pilgrims and Indians shared a feast and gave thanks, so food has to be a part of it.  BUT, THANKSgiving is about way more than food. 

Now, everybody is thankful for something.  Regardless of what that is for each and every one, today is the day we are most thankful.  But, why just today?  And I know a lot of you probably participated in the month long event on Facebook about what you’re thankful for.  Again, why just this month? We should really be thankful everday, for so many things.  Not that any of you aren’t, but this holiday is most publicized for that. 

At some point today, a number of us will send out a mass text to everybody in our phone and say it.  But today, since it is deemed the day to be thankful, I want to share what I am thankful for, not only today, or the month of November, but EVERY day of the year.

LIFE – I am thankful that everyday of the year (thus far) I get to wake up, and enjoy the good and the bad and the ins and the outs of life.  Many are taken far too young, and so far I am lucky enough to still be breathing.

RELIGION – I am thankful because I have a religion, and because I have something and someone to believe in.  That I can pray to my higher power, and those prayers are answered, and sometimes even unanswered prayers can be the greatest gift (yes, I threw in a Garth Brooks reference, so sue me).  And because I have faith and a Heavenly Father, the good Lord above LETS me wake up each morning and LIVE the life that I have been so blessed with.

FAMILY – My family are what keeps me going.  There are so many people without families or who have lost part or all of theirs and aren’t fortunate to be sharing Thanksgiving with anyone.  I am fortunate to have so many wonderful family members and be a part and share in other families, and fortunate to have the best mom, dad, and brother a girl could ask for.  I wish, as always, that my grandparents were here, but I’m thankful for the years I had with them, and the memories I have left to appreciate. 

LOVE – Of course I have love from my family, but I am grateful to have the man that I plan on spending the rest of my life with.  When we’re young, we tend to think that about every relationship we’re in.  It’s nature, but truthfully, when you know, you’ll know…if that makes sense.  When you find the person that God created for you, you will know.  There will be so many signs, like tiny pieces of a puzzle that create one big picture.   Now, something may happen tomorrow, and Frank and I may not make it.  But, when you have two people who love each other more than anything, and two people who are determined not to give up but to fix the problems they have and not throw it away, the odds are pretty good.  He is my rock, and I am thankful for each day and each moment that God lets me share with him.

FRIENDS – I am thankful that I have some of the best friends in the world.  No matter what, I know I can count on them, and that they can count on me.  That in our own way, we are family.  We love each other, we look out for each other, we laugh with each other and cry with each other, we are there when we need each other.  I am grateful to God for putting these special people in my life, and for each day I get to hold on to them. 

CHURCH – I am thankful for Religion, but I am also thankful for a place to worship, for brothers and sisters in Christ to pick me up when I have fallen and to support me when I need it.  I am thankful I can go here on Sundays and share that faith with all of them, and that I am stronger because of it.  It is so wonderful to be a part of something and share the faith as we do.  The feeling is indescribable. 

EDUCATION – I am thankful I can go to school, that I can learn, and that I can better my life with this knowledge.  We all complain and carry on about the challenges that we face in this journey, but truthfully, we are better people because of it.  I am so thankful that I have had as many opportunities with education as I have. 

WORK – I am thankful to have a job when I need one,  and to be able to use that job to make new friends, to learn, and to see people that I rarely see.  I am thankful for my work family, a group of wonderful people that I love dearly.   There is something to be said for having two or three occupations in life that you can love and would do for free.

CHILDREN – I am thankful for children.  Sometimes, they can put so much joy into a persons life with their innocence and their smile.  Watching children is a great experience for anyone.  Sometimes you don’t even know that you do it, but you watch a little girl play in the park, or a little baby being fed by it’s mommy in a restaurant, the cute little faces they make.  They are our future, all of us.   The children of today will grow up to be the leaders of the free world.  But they are ours to teach and to love.  Raise your children right, be thankful for them, and give them all the love they need.  I may not have children, but there are some that I love dearly and would be lost without.  I’m thankful to their parents for sharing them with me.

MUSIC – I am thankful for music.  My life would be so boring and somewhat empty without it.  Music is a godsend.  And I don’t discriminate, I am thankfor for it all.

In general, I’m just thankful.  I’m thankful I can travel; to school, on vacation, to concerts.  I am thankful I’m a sister and a daughter.  I’m thankful I’m a girlfriend.  I’m thankful I am physically able to write this.  Even the tiniest of blessings we sometimes miss.  I am thankful for even the worst times in life because there are better things ahead, and sometimes we do not appreciate the good without having been through the bad. 

So, take at least one moment of your day today not just to say you’re thankful, but thank those responsible – your family, your friends, soldiers, the LORD above – anyone who has made your life as wonderful as it is.  I am blessed to have too many people to count to thank.  But I want to thank each and everyone who reads this. 

Enjoy your day, and give thanks!

COAL KEEPS THE LIGHTS ON

I know all of you are tired of hearing about this today, but sometimes all I can do is write when I’m upset, and I know that some of you have the same feelings I do. 

Today, James River Coal laid off over 500 miners in one county alone. It’s still not totaled how many got it in my county. And guess what, no severance pay either.

Whether Obama voters/supporters want to admit it, or whether they even care, thanks to him, my community, and the communities around me right now are hurting. We’re struggling. And it’s not just the people who mine the coal that will suffer. It’s all of us. 

Believe it or not, coal really does keep the lights on.

For as far back as I can remember, it’s all I’ve known. My family ran a store, and every day like clockwork, the same coal miners came in and filled their dinner bucket for that day. Every trip I made anywhere through Eastern Kentucky, especially if it was toward Harlan, I followed a convoy of coal trucks. When I worked at the bank, every Friday, I cashed coal miner’s checks. That’s just how it was. It was normal. 

Now, when I go home on the weekends, I rarely see a coal truck. I see very few remnants of the way of life we all once knew. And why? Because we’ve got a greedy President. And a heartless one. 

Don’t tell me it’s not his fault. I’ve read too many stories from more news agencies than Fox. And more than that, I’ve seen the change since he took office. I’m able to remember back far enough to know that the only common denominator is his administration. He helps control the EPA, and the EPA destroys coalmines. It’s simple algebra, really. 

 

But tell me why? Can you give me a good reason that hasn’t been heard to try and comfort the families of the HUNDREDS and THOUSANDS of coal miners who sit jobless right now, crying themselves to sleep at night because they can’t feed their families? No, you can’t. 

Don’t come at me with the environment and clean coal argument either. Because that makes me think that you are trying to say that we should save the environment for the other people on the planet by sacrificing the lives and livelihood of thousands of hard-working men and women. So tell me what justifies trading one person’s life for another? Really, tell me, I want to know.

I am so, SO sick of hearing everyday what a great President he is. And what all he has done for this nation. He has done NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING for the people of Eastern Kentucky who work for a living. I already know he gave away a bunch of free phones and insurance to a lot of people who drain our economy when they could be working to support their families instead of the working people of America supporting their habits. 

(NOTICE I said a lot. I am by no means insinuating that some people do not need government assistance or shouldn't receive it.)  

But tell me what he has done to supply jobs for those he has put out of work in the past year? What gives him or any other government official the right to declare war on the working people of America and inevitably the nation’s economy? I’ll tell you what, NOTHING. 

I realize people in the areas unaffected probably have no idea what’s going on, or why they should care. But I’m about to fill you in folks, so listen up. It’s a chain of events. 

Coal Mines keep up a lot of businesses, things you wouldn’t think about. Coal mines buy tires, truck parts, fuel, oil, cleaning supplies, water, etc. That keeps up local businesses in the area like Whayne Supply, Perry County Tire, Croushorn’s, a lot of local gas stations, and a lot of these places were opened to serve mines. Miners buy their dinner at a lot of local food markets and gas stations, their paychecks go to groceries at all kinds of different stores like Wal-Mart, Food City, etc, which goes back up the corporate chain. They have to buy gas, clothes, shoes, houses, vehicles, necessities, etc.  They have to go to the doctor, the dentist, other medical offices. No more good insurance for that. Coal miners have had money in the past to buy toys for themselves, too, and plenty nice things for their wives and children. But those days are over.  No more Harley Davidson’s and pimped out rides.  Those companies will feel the hurt as well.  

What is going to replace their money when it ceases to be spent? I’ve already seen so many of these car dealerships, gas stations, etc. disappear or have to move. When coal money stops, there is no trade in our area; we have nothing else to spend. Except for what little money is generated from government jobs, coal is all we have.  It’s our life support. And it’s slowly but surely being taken away.

Enough is enough.

If I could drive a coal truck, I wouldn’t be sitting here writing this. I’d be on my way to the White House. Even if I were the only one, at least I’d make my voice be heard. But for now, this keyboard and the words it creates are all I have. 

Just this week, I was asked if they had shoes where I come from. We do now, but after this even the simplest things will be hard to come by for some. We will be going back in time, not forward. Kids will by hungry, their parents will have nowhere to turn, and on to government dependency they will go. Somebody tell me how this helps America? I’d love to know. People think cheaper, cleaner energy is going to save us all? Coal is the cheapest, most efficient way to power our nation. Do the research. COAL KEEPS THE LIGHTS ON. It’s not a cliché, it’s the glorified truth.

I’m sick of watching my family and my friends struggle. I’m sick of watching my community being attacked and punished for working hard. I’m just sick of being told how bad coal is when it fed me, clothed me, and paid for my education. I challenge any person to debate me on this topic. You tell me why you’re not affected, I’ll tell you how you are. I’ll educate you on something I know a lot about. First it was Detroit, now it’s coal. I shudder to think what will be next.  

This is our way of life and we choose it. That’s our God-given right. And the President might think he’s won, but this war is not over. You start pushing mountain people and we push back. He hasn’t seen how hard we fight yet but he’s about to. If two million bikers can rally in Washington, you better believe coal trucks can too, and they’re bigger than a Harley Davidson. 

God bless Jimmy Rose, he can’t do it by himself! He needs some backup. 

Look out Mr. Obama, we’re not going down without a fight. 

God Bless all the coal miners, I am behind you, and I am praying for you. And more importantly, whether the President is behind your or not, God is behind the working man.  

Coal Keeps the Lights On.

Amen.

#RememberingJones

“If we all could sound how we wanted, we’d all sound like George Jones.”

-- Waylon Jennings

Today I should be studying for contracts but I’m not. I have a final tomorrow, I need to. But instead, I am saying to goodbye to my idol. The sound of my childhood. A legend. The greatest Country singer to ever grace a stage. The Possum.

George Jones.

As I sit here watching his televised funeral, my heart aches.  I regret that I am not sitting there in a bench in the Grand Ole Opry House, watching this event take place. Instead, I’m watching it from my couch, crying like a child who can’t find his favorite toy. I know this won’t be all I could say about George Jones, and I know there will be things I think of later, but here’s my best shot while I’m in the mental state to do it.

How do you say Goodbye to somebody who has had such a huge role in your life?  How do you lie down at night and know that a chapter in your life has ended that you aren’t ready to let go of?

                    

You can’t.  There aren’t enough tissues. There aren’t enough words.

Hearing these stories about George from all the people who knew him makes me laugh, and cry, too. It’s amazing how I went from laughter to tears in just seconds. It’s just so hard to believe he’s gone.  I remember when I found out how close he lived to me when I was in Murfreesboro. I drove out there to see the Christmas lights and sit in his giant Rockin’ Chair. Oh, the memories. It makes me feel like I knew him personally, too. All my good stories with my dad usually had him playing in the background. The soundtrack to my life is George Jones.

From the time I was small, my dad wore him out. No matter where we went or what vehicle we went in, we were constantly listening to George Jones, with an occasional appearance of Conway Twitty or Merle Haggard.  I didn’t know any other music existed except Country. My dad would really get turned on when “One Woman Man” started playing, or  The Corvette Song (She was hotter than a $2 pistol). Even now when I go home, before bed each night, my dad plays George Jones on YouTube. From “Choices” to Gospel songs, everything and anything. A never-ending cycle.

George lived a crazy life and wrote a book about his journey. Through the hard times growing up, the drug and alcohol abuse, marriage and divorce, his life with Tammy Wynette, their sweet music together, his children, rising above his troubles and his addiction, marrying Nancy, the hits, and the shows, whether he made it or not.  81 years. A lifetime of amazing stories that only the man who lived them could tell.

I got to meet him once. I was more nervous than I’d ever been in my life. I don’t even remember what I said. But I remember never seeing a bigger smile on my dad’s face as he got to meet him as well. It was a dream come true. We didn’t have a great camera, I didn’t get to have a conversation with him, but for at least a minute, I got to stand next to a legend.

Oh the songs George sang, for every time in your life, every occasion. There isn’t a song you can’t relate to. Country Music will never be the same without him.

I can sit here and write a book bout his life, his music, his accomplishments, his failures, but there is nothing I could write that you can’t find and read about on the Internet. I’m not trying to paint a picture of George Jones, I’m trying to paint a picture of what he meant to me.

He was a member of my family, a part of my life, and my dad’s. My dad has listened to George Jones for over 40 years, and I’ve listened for 25. We followed him so much that we knew his show by heart.  We knew every word of every song. We knew what words he was going to plug in where they didn’t belong. We knew his band members and their names. We knew every sound he made; we knew every look he had. We felt like we knew him. My dad has a stronger bond because he stopped drinking himself, and he had lived the song, “Choices” right along with George.

It didn’t matter that he had addictions. It didn’t matter that he was a no-show at times. It didn’t matter what problems he had. We knew who he was. He was our mentor, our counselor, our co-pilot, and our friend. He was right there for every problem we had, not to solve it, but to let us know we weren’t alone. Sometimes that’s all you need, a little support. Sometimes, you just need the voice, and the song. 

Last night, my dad said to me, “If you don’t listen to Country Music, you’re missing something in your life. I can tell people that, and they may not believe me, but it’s true.”  He wasn’t speaking to me specifically, he knows I listen, but to those who are missing the power, the truth, and the soul it has to offer.  And he is so right. I know what George meant to my dad, because I know how much he meant to me. He is part of the reason the bond with my dad is so strong.  He is the glue that holds us together some days. If we’re mad at each other, my dad just plays a George song, we sing along together, and we’re fine again.

I can continue to sit here and cry, and tell you all the reasons he meant so much to me, but you may never understand. You may be cynical and condescending. But look at the people who mourn him. He was bigger than Elvis. He carried Country Music. He touched the lives of so many people, those who are famous and those who are not.  Wynona just called him one of the greatest heroes of her life. I can sympathize, because I felt the same way. 

I haven’t cried this much in a long time.

Not only was George a good singer, but he was also a good man. He paid for Johnny Paycheck’s funeral, another legend lost in time. It’s because of things like that I know about, that I keep revisiting his song, “Who’s Gonna Fill Their Shoes?” And I know, that nobody will ever fill his. They’re just too big. Nobody will ever be able to put me on my knees with a Gospel song, or put me in a state of a coma with “Still Doin’ Time.” I love Jamey Johnson, and he may be close. But there was only one George Jones.

This has been one of the saddest days of my life. It’s so hard to say goodbye. The last time I saw him, at Renfro Valley, was so depressing. His voice was gone; he wasn’t the George I’d grown up with. But I was fortunate enough to have seen him when he was at his best. Those are the memories I will keep with me, the good ole days.

Something I loved about his services was how they have emphasized God, and where George has gone now, to sing for the Lord. His Pastor has done such a wonderful job. Especially telling of George in his final moments and how he wasn’t afraid. I heard Westboro Baptist Church was supposed to picket his funeral, they better PRAY that I don’t ever have the chance to run into them.

I especially love Alan Jackson being there and closing out the funeral with “He Stopped Loving Her Today.” And how he represented George Jones so many years ago by breaking out singing “Choices” for the awards ceremony instead of his own because they had refused to let George sing the whole song and George declined to sing at all. Nobody messed with George and got away with it. I also can’t help but think of Tammy right now. How much she and George loved each other. They were meant to be. The whole world knew it. I hope they have met up again in Heaven, and are just as happy as they once were.

No more riding 13 miles on the power lawn mower for George.  No more rocking on the stage. But he has left us with a legacy, a lifetime of memories and a collection of songs to more than keep him alive in our hearts. Thank you George Jones, for being such a huge part of my life. For giving me a song for every occasion. For showing us all we can always be better. I refuse to say goodbye. For me, it’s just see you later.

I will never stop loving you, George.

Here are a few quotes from the services I really liked:

“If George Jones can be forgiven by a loving Saviour, so can you.”

   – Pastor Wilson

  

 “If Norman Rockwell had been a singer, he would have sounded just like George Jones”

 – Mike Huckabee

 “We have lost a national treasure.”

 – Wynona

God Bless you, George.  Nobody could sing this one like you.

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, 

That saved a wretch like me.


I once was lost but now am found,


Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.


And Grace, my fears relieved.


How precious did that Grace appear


The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares


I have already come;


'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far


and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.


His word my hope secures.


He will my shield and portion be,


As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,


And mortal life shall cease,


I shall possess within the veil,


A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years


Bright shining as the sun.


We've no less days to sing God's praise


Than when we've first begun.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,


That saved a wretch like me.


I once was lost but now am found,


Was blind, but now I see.

God Bless Outlaws Like Me

While I should be writing up a practice in-class essay for tomorrow, I’m not. Big shock, I know. Instead, I am still cranking Justin Moore due to my concert high this weekend. I pulled another one of my stunts doing two concerts two days in a row in two different cities. Last time it was three in a row, in three days, in three different cities, with three different people. This weekend I was lucky enough to have my better half Frank Baker along for both shows and it was great to be able to share that experience with him. Now, on to the important parts.

It started out on Friday – Jason Aldean with Jake Owen and Thomas Rhett at the KFC Yum! Center in Louisville. I’d already seen Jason Aldean many times, and tend to have been disappointed more each time with his attitude and lack of connection to the fans. Frank, however, wanted to see him, so I agreed when my buddy Tyler Oney and my sister Chas Lawson asked me to join in on their fun. Thanks to Tyler, we were lucky enough to get pit tickets AND backstage passes to meet Jake Owen. Cha-Ching!

It was a fun ride. We picked up Tyler in London and Chas in Richmond and were Louisville bound. Cranking the new Blake Shelton CD, sunglasses on…we rocked. We get to Louisville with just enough time to eat. Chas’s choice of TGI Fridays was more than acceptable and it was really cool I might add to walk above everything in the skywalk all the way to Fourth Street.

By the time we get back to the Yum! Center, we grab a nice spot in line to get in the doors, only to find out Will Call is on the opposite side. We race over there, grab our tickets and meet and greet passes, only to find out we had 5 minutes to get inside and get in line for the meet and greet with NO IDEA where we’re going. We RUN, literally…all the way in a half circle to get to the allotted section and into the group awaiting Jake Owen. It was a short meet and greet, but he was super sweet, and we made it out in time to get a good spot in the pit for the remainder of the show. Thomas Rhett did a good job in his Luke Bryan like stature, and jammin’ tunes.

Jake Owen put on a wonderful show – hopping in the stands multiple times, minus security to sing to people, drink their beer, hug the ladies, high five the dudes, and acknowledge the cute little kids in their cowboy hats, too. Unfortunately, Tyler and Chas were on the opposite side of the pit from Frank and I, but we could still make eye contact from time to time. The good part about this is that we didn’t get thrown into the fight as they did. Tyler, being the gentleman that he is, tried to protect Chas by pushing her behind him as he preceded to punch a drunk retard in the throat. They survived with no injuries, unlike some other poor, innocent people.

Jake was definitely all about the fans, and I was very impressed. Even Frank, who had never seen either of them before, expressed his evaluation that Jake did wayyyyyyy better than Jason. (Sorry if you read this Heather Winiger…I cannot tell a lie).  At the end, we tried to get in line to meet Thomas Rhett but that idea died quickly once they ushered him away before all the drunk people trampled him. Instead, we just sprinted to the car and headed home. It was a long night but a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, Chas missed out on Night Number Two of fun. We traded her for my little brother Aaron, also known as Neighbor (OK, so he’s technically my cousin before anybody corrects me, but I will forever claim him as my little brother, so there). I would have preferred she could have joined us all, but you can’t always get what you want as the Rolling Stones have preached for years. We headed to London with Neighbor in tow and met Tyler at my favorite place, Old Town Grill, for supper where the two goofballs proceeded to harass the waitress. Surprisingly enough, she harassed back, which was even more humorous.

After getting to Corbin, we made our stops, bathroom and tee shirts, and headed down to reserve our spot in the pit. Who did I run into?  None other than my sweet little sisterly friend Andi Couch and her friend. They are all friends with my cousin Neighbor as well, so we had a small reunion and stood together all night, hugging and high-fiving, singing along with each other and playfully brawling. I had no idea how great the night would be when it first started.

The opening acts, Dustin Lynch and Jon Pardi were good. They only had a few songs I liked out right now but I was pleasantly surprised when Dustin sang an old favorite of mine by David Lee Murphy, “Dust on the Bottle.” But when Justin Moore came out, singing “Guns,” all eyes were on him. Here’s where the show got awesome…on a whole other level than I expected.

At the end of his first song, “Guns,” he said, “that’s right Mr. Obama, you won’t take my guns” and the crowd cheered. Only one other artist I have seen has called a president by name like that and in an authoritative tone, and it was the one and only Hank, Jr. He is the only other person that I have ever seen that tied with Justin Moore on a concert. And surprisingly, who was opener that night? Justin Moore. It all made sense. He learned from Bocephus, and he talks about it in the song, “Hank It,” which he wrote, and says, “I took myself out and sat in the crowd and learned how Bocephus shakes ‘em down…” 

As the show went on, I realized how great he truly was, but not strictly because of his entertaining skills. Of course his songs are about the common folk back here; the working class, the farmers, the gun owners, the hunters, the country boys and girls, the pride of America and the patriots. But he is, as he said himself, normal. He grew up in the country. Driving trucks down dirt roads. Partying on the weekends like folks here do up on Leeco. He changed his life and had a family. He takes his little girl to gymnastics. He takes out his on trash. He misses his grandpa.  He loves country music. He represents all the things I am… with pride.

I was never prepared for such a fun, yet emotional show. He sang his song “Grandpa” and it reminded me of my own. Seeing the emotion he put into it, was so touching. It brought tears to my eyes. Not only that, but later, he sang “If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away” and asked everyone in the audience to pull out their cell phones and light up the arena as bright as they could, in hopes his grandpa could look down from Heaven and see him.  He did find a little humor. He said, “every body in here over the age of 5 has a cell phone, so take ‘em out!” I laughed a little but I couldn’t focus on him because during both of those songs I couldn’t take my eyes off little brother. We were both thinking the same thing and I knew it. Our own granny and grandpa, bless them in Heaven. He looked like he was gonna cry any minute and I couldn’t hold back my tears. Sometime during the show I saw him moving closer toward me.  It’s funny, our relationship. We’ve always been close. We’ve always been able to talk about things. I’ll never forget him covering me up on the couch when I was asleep at granny’s because he thought I looked cold and mom told me later she had watched him do it. Sometimes words don’t need to be said. But sometimes they do. Every time we part ways, I always tell him I love him. He scares me always working in dangerous activities and I worry that the last time I see him sometimes really will be the last time I see him. So I tell him I love him, just in case. He never says it back. But I’ve always known he does. When he moved toward me, he put his arm around me and said, “I love you, Jessie” and I started to cry and I just hugged him and said, “I love you, too, little brother.” Moments later we were slapping high fives and singing to each other some other Random song, but it was the best moment and I will never forget it.

Justin Moore toward the end did something else I thought was nice. He thanked us, the audience, for spending our hard earned money. He acknowledged that he we knew we couldn’t afford it, or “all the other tee shirts and koozies and CDs we try to sell you, but you do it anyway, because you love Country Music.”

And I do. I do love Country Music. And it’s nice to be appreciated.  He asked us all if we felt like we got our moneys worth, that if we hadn’t he wouldn’t leave there until we did, and we all cheered. Truthfully, the tickets for Jason Aldean the night before were a lot more and not as good of a show. 

He talked about his normal life and his kids and his wife. He thanked us for being there. He sang another song and we cheered so hard that he sat down on the middle of the catwalk, and cried. He took his hat off and just cried. His emotion bled through and it made me cry. It’s so rare to see pure, true, and genuine emotion from an artist. But I’ve never felt it stronger from anyone than I did him.

My most favorite part was when he did the encore. He came out and gave a nice little speech. He told us that he swore to himself that if he ever had the chance to live his dream, and stand on that stage every night that he would use that platform for good. That he wanted the folks who came to his show to leave better people. He said he was proud to be a Christian. Maybe he wasn’t as good of one as he’d like but he was trying. And he wanted us all, if there was anybody in the audience that didn’t to think about being better and maybe getting to know the Lord. He wasn’t preaching, and he said that, he was just being honest. He was just being true, and from the heart. I screamed for him until my lungs hurt. And I didn’t care. He earned every squeal I had left in me.

His encore song was “Outlaws Like Me” which was also the name of the tour. Before the last chorus he broke out into Amazing Grace and I sang along with every verse. He then finished with the last chorus and ended the song, crying once again. He thanked us all, and did something so cool, and so fitting but it was something I’d have expected more to see on the George Strait Tour.  He took off his hat, bowed to every side of the audience, hung his hat on the microphone stand, and walked back off stage with honor, leaving his hat behind, still hanging, with the spotlight on it. It gave me CHILLS.  It was the best end to a concert I’ve ever seen. Ever. From anybody.

Now, for those of you who know me, you know I tend to tell it like it is. And this blog is no different. I have seen hundreds of concerts. I’ve seen legends, I’ve seen those that are hot in mainstream, and I’ve seen those just starting out. I have been to the Grand Ole Opry 100 times or more. I’ve attended CMA Fest for over 10 years. Never have I seen a show as good as that one. Unless it was the Hank Jr. show previously mentioned but even then it would be hard to say. His genuine emotion, song choices, raw talent, and inner personality made this show the best. The atmosphere and the people I was with of course helped too, but Justin Moore gave it all he had. He poured his heart out on that stage and gave us all he had. He showed real respect and appreciation for his fans and I have never been so impressed with an artist. Not even Jamey Johnson and most of you know how obsessed I am with him. Justin Moore’s humble attitude was so endearing and it made him so good to watch. I could go on but I will leave you with this…it definitely won’t be my last Justin Moore show.

I may not be an outlaw, but I know and have known enough of them. Folks have said my Uncle Leonard was an outlaw. I have friends who have at least acted like Outlaws.  However, I have made mistakes in my life and I have learned from them.   Outlaw is a state of mind. Waylon was an outlaw. Willie is still an outlaw.  Being an outlaw doesn’t make you bad, it just makes you tough. Outlaws have certainly been a huge part of my life and musical taste. I respect them greatly. I always will. 

God Bless the Outlaws.

<3 Jess

Outlaws Like Me

I've been a rough houser,

A good time sleep arounder,

A Straight up whiskey pounder,

Till I don't know my name.

I've been a church goer,

A front pew Bible holder,

A cry on my momma's shoulder,

When she saw me change.

But each day's a choice

Which one I'm gonna be.

God Bless outlaws like me.

I curse the sun

I pray for rain

I'd run a mile,

To walk through pain

I've seen the worst

And I've seen the best that I can be.

God Bless outlaws like me

I've been an SOBer,

A nighttime bar room leaner,

A go back and forth betweener,

And that's the truth.

And I've been a come home early,

Get to my girl in a hurry,

At night so she didn't worry,

I even said I love you.

But each day's a choice

Of lovin’ her, or livin’ free.

God Bless outlaws like me.

I curse the sun

I pray for rain

I'd run a mile,

To walk through pain,

I've seen the worst

And I've seen the best that I can be.

God Bless outlaws like me

I curse the sun

I pray for rain 

I'd run a mile to walk through pain

I've seen the worst

And I've seen the best man I can be.

God Bless outlaws

God Bless outlaws

God Bless outlaws like me.