God Bless Outlaws Like Me

While I should be writing up a practice in-class essay for tomorrow, I’m not. Big shock, I know. Instead, I am still cranking Justin Moore due to my concert high this weekend. I pulled another one of my stunts doing two concerts two days in a row in two different cities. Last time it was three in a row, in three days, in three different cities, with three different people. This weekend I was lucky enough to have my better half Frank Baker along for both shows and it was great to be able to share that experience with him. Now, on to the important parts.

It started out on Friday – Jason Aldean with Jake Owen and Thomas Rhett at the KFC Yum! Center in Louisville. I’d already seen Jason Aldean many times, and tend to have been disappointed more each time with his attitude and lack of connection to the fans. Frank, however, wanted to see him, so I agreed when my buddy Tyler Oney and my sister Chas Lawson asked me to join in on their fun. Thanks to Tyler, we were lucky enough to get pit tickets AND backstage passes to meet Jake Owen. Cha-Ching!

It was a fun ride. We picked up Tyler in London and Chas in Richmond and were Louisville bound. Cranking the new Blake Shelton CD, sunglasses on…we rocked. We get to Louisville with just enough time to eat. Chas’s choice of TGI Fridays was more than acceptable and it was really cool I might add to walk above everything in the skywalk all the way to Fourth Street.

By the time we get back to the Yum! Center, we grab a nice spot in line to get in the doors, only to find out Will Call is on the opposite side. We race over there, grab our tickets and meet and greet passes, only to find out we had 5 minutes to get inside and get in line for the meet and greet with NO IDEA where we’re going. We RUN, literally…all the way in a half circle to get to the allotted section and into the group awaiting Jake Owen. It was a short meet and greet, but he was super sweet, and we made it out in time to get a good spot in the pit for the remainder of the show. Thomas Rhett did a good job in his Luke Bryan like stature, and jammin’ tunes.

Jake Owen put on a wonderful show – hopping in the stands multiple times, minus security to sing to people, drink their beer, hug the ladies, high five the dudes, and acknowledge the cute little kids in their cowboy hats, too. Unfortunately, Tyler and Chas were on the opposite side of the pit from Frank and I, but we could still make eye contact from time to time. The good part about this is that we didn’t get thrown into the fight as they did. Tyler, being the gentleman that he is, tried to protect Chas by pushing her behind him as he preceded to punch a drunk retard in the throat. They survived with no injuries, unlike some other poor, innocent people.

Jake was definitely all about the fans, and I was very impressed. Even Frank, who had never seen either of them before, expressed his evaluation that Jake did wayyyyyyy better than Jason. (Sorry if you read this Heather Winiger…I cannot tell a lie).  At the end, we tried to get in line to meet Thomas Rhett but that idea died quickly once they ushered him away before all the drunk people trampled him. Instead, we just sprinted to the car and headed home. It was a long night but a lot of fun.

Unfortunately, Chas missed out on Night Number Two of fun. We traded her for my little brother Aaron, also known as Neighbor (OK, so he’s technically my cousin before anybody corrects me, but I will forever claim him as my little brother, so there). I would have preferred she could have joined us all, but you can’t always get what you want as the Rolling Stones have preached for years. We headed to London with Neighbor in tow and met Tyler at my favorite place, Old Town Grill, for supper where the two goofballs proceeded to harass the waitress. Surprisingly enough, she harassed back, which was even more humorous.

After getting to Corbin, we made our stops, bathroom and tee shirts, and headed down to reserve our spot in the pit. Who did I run into?  None other than my sweet little sisterly friend Andi Couch and her friend. They are all friends with my cousin Neighbor as well, so we had a small reunion and stood together all night, hugging and high-fiving, singing along with each other and playfully brawling. I had no idea how great the night would be when it first started.

The opening acts, Dustin Lynch and Jon Pardi were good. They only had a few songs I liked out right now but I was pleasantly surprised when Dustin sang an old favorite of mine by David Lee Murphy, “Dust on the Bottle.” But when Justin Moore came out, singing “Guns,” all eyes were on him. Here’s where the show got awesome…on a whole other level than I expected.

At the end of his first song, “Guns,” he said, “that’s right Mr. Obama, you won’t take my guns” and the crowd cheered. Only one other artist I have seen has called a president by name like that and in an authoritative tone, and it was the one and only Hank, Jr. He is the only other person that I have ever seen that tied with Justin Moore on a concert. And surprisingly, who was opener that night? Justin Moore. It all made sense. He learned from Bocephus, and he talks about it in the song, “Hank It,” which he wrote, and says, “I took myself out and sat in the crowd and learned how Bocephus shakes ‘em down…” 

As the show went on, I realized how great he truly was, but not strictly because of his entertaining skills. Of course his songs are about the common folk back here; the working class, the farmers, the gun owners, the hunters, the country boys and girls, the pride of America and the patriots. But he is, as he said himself, normal. He grew up in the country. Driving trucks down dirt roads. Partying on the weekends like folks here do up on Leeco. He changed his life and had a family. He takes his little girl to gymnastics. He takes out his on trash. He misses his grandpa.  He loves country music. He represents all the things I am… with pride.

I was never prepared for such a fun, yet emotional show. He sang his song “Grandpa” and it reminded me of my own. Seeing the emotion he put into it, was so touching. It brought tears to my eyes. Not only that, but later, he sang “If Heaven Wasn’t So Far Away” and asked everyone in the audience to pull out their cell phones and light up the arena as bright as they could, in hopes his grandpa could look down from Heaven and see him.  He did find a little humor. He said, “every body in here over the age of 5 has a cell phone, so take ‘em out!” I laughed a little but I couldn’t focus on him because during both of those songs I couldn’t take my eyes off little brother. We were both thinking the same thing and I knew it. Our own granny and grandpa, bless them in Heaven. He looked like he was gonna cry any minute and I couldn’t hold back my tears. Sometime during the show I saw him moving closer toward me.  It’s funny, our relationship. We’ve always been close. We’ve always been able to talk about things. I’ll never forget him covering me up on the couch when I was asleep at granny’s because he thought I looked cold and mom told me later she had watched him do it. Sometimes words don’t need to be said. But sometimes they do. Every time we part ways, I always tell him I love him. He scares me always working in dangerous activities and I worry that the last time I see him sometimes really will be the last time I see him. So I tell him I love him, just in case. He never says it back. But I’ve always known he does. When he moved toward me, he put his arm around me and said, “I love you, Jessie” and I started to cry and I just hugged him and said, “I love you, too, little brother.” Moments later we were slapping high fives and singing to each other some other Random song, but it was the best moment and I will never forget it.

Justin Moore toward the end did something else I thought was nice. He thanked us, the audience, for spending our hard earned money. He acknowledged that he we knew we couldn’t afford it, or “all the other tee shirts and koozies and CDs we try to sell you, but you do it anyway, because you love Country Music.”

And I do. I do love Country Music. And it’s nice to be appreciated.  He asked us all if we felt like we got our moneys worth, that if we hadn’t he wouldn’t leave there until we did, and we all cheered. Truthfully, the tickets for Jason Aldean the night before were a lot more and not as good of a show. 

He talked about his normal life and his kids and his wife. He thanked us for being there. He sang another song and we cheered so hard that he sat down on the middle of the catwalk, and cried. He took his hat off and just cried. His emotion bled through and it made me cry. It’s so rare to see pure, true, and genuine emotion from an artist. But I’ve never felt it stronger from anyone than I did him.

My most favorite part was when he did the encore. He came out and gave a nice little speech. He told us that he swore to himself that if he ever had the chance to live his dream, and stand on that stage every night that he would use that platform for good. That he wanted the folks who came to his show to leave better people. He said he was proud to be a Christian. Maybe he wasn’t as good of one as he’d like but he was trying. And he wanted us all, if there was anybody in the audience that didn’t to think about being better and maybe getting to know the Lord. He wasn’t preaching, and he said that, he was just being honest. He was just being true, and from the heart. I screamed for him until my lungs hurt. And I didn’t care. He earned every squeal I had left in me.

His encore song was “Outlaws Like Me” which was also the name of the tour. Before the last chorus he broke out into Amazing Grace and I sang along with every verse. He then finished with the last chorus and ended the song, crying once again. He thanked us all, and did something so cool, and so fitting but it was something I’d have expected more to see on the George Strait Tour.  He took off his hat, bowed to every side of the audience, hung his hat on the microphone stand, and walked back off stage with honor, leaving his hat behind, still hanging, with the spotlight on it. It gave me CHILLS.  It was the best end to a concert I’ve ever seen. Ever. From anybody.

Now, for those of you who know me, you know I tend to tell it like it is. And this blog is no different. I have seen hundreds of concerts. I’ve seen legends, I’ve seen those that are hot in mainstream, and I’ve seen those just starting out. I have been to the Grand Ole Opry 100 times or more. I’ve attended CMA Fest for over 10 years. Never have I seen a show as good as that one. Unless it was the Hank Jr. show previously mentioned but even then it would be hard to say. His genuine emotion, song choices, raw talent, and inner personality made this show the best. The atmosphere and the people I was with of course helped too, but Justin Moore gave it all he had. He poured his heart out on that stage and gave us all he had. He showed real respect and appreciation for his fans and I have never been so impressed with an artist. Not even Jamey Johnson and most of you know how obsessed I am with him. Justin Moore’s humble attitude was so endearing and it made him so good to watch. I could go on but I will leave you with this…it definitely won’t be my last Justin Moore show.

I may not be an outlaw, but I know and have known enough of them. Folks have said my Uncle Leonard was an outlaw. I have friends who have at least acted like Outlaws.  However, I have made mistakes in my life and I have learned from them.   Outlaw is a state of mind. Waylon was an outlaw. Willie is still an outlaw.  Being an outlaw doesn’t make you bad, it just makes you tough. Outlaws have certainly been a huge part of my life and musical taste. I respect them greatly. I always will. 

God Bless the Outlaws.

<3 Jess

Outlaws Like Me

I've been a rough houser,

A good time sleep arounder,

A Straight up whiskey pounder,

Till I don't know my name.

I've been a church goer,

A front pew Bible holder,

A cry on my momma's shoulder,

When she saw me change.

But each day's a choice

Which one I'm gonna be.

God Bless outlaws like me.

I curse the sun

I pray for rain

I'd run a mile,

To walk through pain

I've seen the worst

And I've seen the best that I can be.

God Bless outlaws like me

I've been an SOBer,

A nighttime bar room leaner,

A go back and forth betweener,

And that's the truth.

And I've been a come home early,

Get to my girl in a hurry,

At night so she didn't worry,

I even said I love you.

But each day's a choice

Of lovin’ her, or livin’ free.

God Bless outlaws like me.

I curse the sun

I pray for rain

I'd run a mile,

To walk through pain,

I've seen the worst

And I've seen the best that I can be.

God Bless outlaws like me

I curse the sun

I pray for rain 

I'd run a mile to walk through pain

I've seen the worst

And I've seen the best man I can be.

God Bless outlaws

God Bless outlaws

God Bless outlaws like me.

Life is the Song, Love is the Music

So here it is.  2013 is already in full swing.  The joke is on you Mayans; we survived 2012.  Even me, even though I had many experiences and trials, I pushed on through like I always do.  I’m a Lewis, also known as ‘Bonecrusher.’ 

I.  Am.  Tough.

I should be working on a brief right now but I’m not.  This law student is fried, and the only thing that clears my head is writing and driving.  How ironic is that? You’d think that since I’m supposed to be writing a brief it would work? Nah. I can’t clear my head like that.  I certainly can’t drive at this hour through the hood in Cincinnati…even I’m not that stupid.  I have to clear my mind.  I have to write, and let the words on these pages free my thoughts and share them with whoever wants to look inside my mind.  Be careful, it’s scary in here!

So, most of you that know me or for whatever reason follow these blogs, know that I always do a year-end blog.  This year is no different. However, I did not post it.  Why, you ask? Because. It was just for me. I went through a rough state for a few months that only those closest to me were privileged to know about and help me through. I can take a lot, I have learned about losing in so many ways. But after so much hurt and disappointment, I collapse, like I did last semester.  I was still determined enough to finish finals at an above average pace last semester, but nothing like I pride myself in doing.  Sometimes, life just gets to be too much. 

However, I will hit the high points – and low points – of last year. I dealt with a lot in the beginning of the year.  I was studying for the LSAT and fearing the worst about my future in law school.  I lost a dear person in my life, Marie Garrison, to cancer (see separate blog from last year) and my Great Uncle Oaf Lee, also to cancer and other problematic health issues.  It was a rough beginning.  But then things turned around.

By some Miracle, I managed to get into Salmon P. Chase Law School, a part of Northern Kentucky University.  I say miracle because of how it came about.  I had a pretty bad score on the LSAT so I didn’t think I was going to apply to Chase.  I thought I was just going to apply to somewhere else and hope that maybe I could transfer, or go where I loved -- Tennessee.  It was certainly heavy on my mind to apply to Duncan School of Law, a part of Lincoln Memorial University that was started a few years ago in Knoxville.  The only problem is that they are not accredited by the American Bar Association yet.  But I wanted to go to law school so bad I didn’t care.  I applied there and a couple more places, and wasn’t going to apply to Chase because I didn’t think I could get in.    However, about a week before the deadline to apply to Chase, the admissions office emailed me and told me that they were still taking applications.  She had got my information off the Law School Admission Council website.  I told her I had a bad score and didn’t think they would accept me.  She sent me the link to a chart of LSAT scores crossed with GPAs.  Out of the applicants with my score and GPA, four people had applied last year.  One of the four was accepted.  ONE.  I was at work and I remember turning around, looking at Amber and saying,  “I could be the one!”

At least then I was optimistic.

I applied to Duncan in Knoxville, TN, a school in Charlotte, NC and Salmon P. Chase in Northern Kentucky.  Those were the only places I was willing to go because I don’t want to be too far away from home.  I got a letter from Charlotte immediately but it was a few weeks before I heard from anybody else.  I heard from Chase exactly four weeks after they received my application.  I was at work (always) and I saw I had an email on my phone. The subject line said “NKU Chase – Congrats” and I freaked out.  I started screaming, “I got in!! I got in!!!”  Randi and I started jumping up and down, I started texting and calling people to tell them about my good news.  It was one of the happiest (and proudest) moments of my life.  I started planning when to leave work and what I was going do.  I was still in shock. 

I decided that I was going to reward myself.  My cousin Elizabeth and I planned a cruise for the summer.  I had never been farther south than the Tennessee border, I had never seen the ocean, never been on a plane and I had never really left the country.  I was about to have a bunch of ‘firsts.’  

Now, I generally have good luck. But sometimes I have both good luck and bad luck at the same time. For instance, I got an email telling me I had been accepted into a scholarship program known as KLEO where I would receive $5,000 but it required me going to live in a dorm on UK’s campus for two weeks while attending sort of a “boot camp” for law school.  I thought this was a great idea but it happened right during the week of my cruise.  BUT, the amount it cost to change the cruise to a week later was not nearly enough to worry about in comparison to the $5,000 I would lose if I didn’t take the scholarship.  Which, turned out to be $5,000 each year for a total of $15,000 for those of us at Chase.  That also meant my summer was pretty much booked.  But it was all worth it.  I gained a new understanding and preparation of law school, and I realized that I really loved the direction I was heading in.  The cruise also changed my life.  It sparked a love for travel and treading new ground that I will never lose.  I can’t wait to go on my next adventure. 

Let’s recap:

I got into law school. I was a KLEO scholar.  I flew for the first time. I went on my first cruise. I saw the ocean for the first time. Basically, I had a perfect summer. Booyah!

Now, moving right along.  School started, which unleashed a whirlwind on my life. I was fortunate enough in September to stand beside my best friend and former roommate Kathryn Boggess as her maid of honor and watched as she vowed to share her life with her new husband, Ben.  It was one of the most beautiful weddings I’ve ever seen and I was honored to be a part of it.  It is an amazing feeling to watch two people who are perfect for each other join hands as husband and wife.

But…in true me fashion I always seem to take on too much.  It’s a gift, and a curse.  I still managed to plan the entertainment for Mary Breckinridge Festival and have Emerson Drive as the headliner, which I’m pretty proud of. The festival is a headache and a thankless job, but I love it.  It still reminds me of my days in Nashville, and helps me keep my music dream alive in some ways.  And truthfully, I’m not happy unless I’m helping others.  I’m not happy unless I’m doing something productive for someone else.  I’m not happy unless I’m staying super busy and losing sleep and living on the road.

That takes us up through October.  There is only one event from October to December I will never forget…my baptism.  The rest of the year, well, it pretty much sucked. 

In November, I was baptized – something I had wanted to do for a long time.  The day it happened, I will remember for the rest of my life; November 25.  That day, my life changed forever.  During just one of many emotional sermons by Keith Bowling, I felt my heart being tugged as if there was a rope lassoed around me, pulling me to the front.  It was a feeling I could no longer fight.  My eyes filled with tears and I nearly ran toward the front.  It was as if the gap in my heart was filled immediately.  And, I was able to share it with one of the best people in my life, Ms. Rebecca Couch.  She never left my side.  She stood at the base of the stairs and helped me in the water.  She was the last thing I saw going down, and the first thing I saw coming up.  She helped me out of the water and waited patiently outside as I changed out of my wet clothes.  She has never let me down, but has been there for me through one of the most important journeys of my life, my journey toward God.  For that I will always love her and be grateful.  I don’t know what I would do without her.  My entire church family is amazing and I am blessed beyond measure to be a part of that congregation.  It has truly been one of the best things to ever happen to me.

So, after all I had went through, by the time finals rolled around this semester I had no motivation left.  None.  Zero.  Nada.  NOTHING.  I didn’t even care.  I wasn’t nervous, I didn’t cry, I didn’t get freaked out, I just slept, ate, watched TV and studied with my group.  I guess I’m not normal but I never have been.  I’m just who I am.  I was ready to come home.

The last few months of my year, minus my baptism, was very disheartening and painful.  Having to remove people from my life isn’t a happy thing.  Being betrayed isn’t a happy thing.  Losing friends and people I thought I could trust and count on isn’t a happy thing. But that is why I will skip it.  I want to be happy.

And believe me, I am.

January 7 was the day my life changed for the better.  I sent a random text message to an old friend asking about a building he used to work in because another friend of mine was curious about it.  January 7, I realized that friend might be a little more than I thought.

If my life were a play, the script would read, “ENTER: Frank Wayne Baker II.”

We spent quite a bit of time together after that. We figured out pretty fast how much we cared for each other and how much alike we were.  On February 1, he asked me if I felt like putting up with him for a while, and of course I said I did.  All I can say is, I am the happiest I’ve ever been. Because for once, it seems like all the pieces of my puzzle are fitting together.  I am in law school working toward my dream, I have the best, most supportive family and friends and church family one could ever be blessed with, and I have the man in my life I have always wanted.  

It is not everyday you find a man who:

·      Opens every door for you;

·      Wears two jackets so he can give you one when you’re too hair-brained to remember your own;

·      Respects your brother enough to ask permission to date you because they’re friends;

·      Respects you, and your life choices and decisions;

·      Spends 16 hours hand-making roses out of duct tape for you on Valentine’s Day because he knows you don’t like a bunch of real flowers that die;

·      Wants to go to church with you;

·      Doesn’t care if you don’t feel like wearing makeup today;

·      Wants to make your life easier;

·      Supports and encourages you while you’re in school and sacrifices time with you when needed;

·      Wipes your tears away when you cry;

·      Makes you order first in a restaurant because ladies go first;

·      Considers you in his decisions;

·      Doesn’t mind going to concerts because you have an addiction (LOL);

·      Reminds you you’re important to him and he appreciates you;

·      Tells you that you’re beautiful;

·      Sends you emails with funny comics or song clips because he knows you’re having a rough day and he wants to make you laugh;

·      RESPECTS your family, and understands that time with them is important;

·      Adds to the family, not take away from it;

·      Shows concern for your safety and tries to protect you;

·      MOST IMPORTANTLY doesn’t want to change who you are.

I could go on, but I’m sure some of you are already gagging a little.  Sorry, my apologies.  I’m just so stinking happy!

ANYWAY – the point is, it is rare to find a man like that with those qualities these days.  His parents have raised a wonderful son, and I can’t express with words how much appreciation and respect I have for them. 

I really am lucky! (Even though he argues he’s the lucky one.)

We watched George Strait the other night in concert on this 2013 leg of the Cowboy Rides Away Tour, sadly his last tour.  It was a bittersweet moment for me because music is a huge part of my life, and it’s like a chapter is over.  Some people understand that and some people don’t.  But for me, a concert, feeling the music, sharing it with all the people and the artist in one room, feeling the energy that we all create, is one of the best feelings I know.  I love it. I’m addicted.   But it was sad last night, watching another part of my childhood walk away.  I was raised with music in my ears. When Brooks and Dunn left, I cried, several times.  I’m not ashamed to say that I shed some tears last night.  If George Jones ever dies, I’ll need Oxygen. True story…

But the point of this is how little by little I am realizing where I am in life, and how fast the years are flying by.  Music isn’t what it used to be, and the older they get, the older I get.  Yes, I am only 25, I know.  But, in the words of Conway Twitty, “Life’s too short, no matter how long it lasts.”  It seems like yesterday I was 16.  I went to sleep and when I woke up, I was 18.  I went to sleep again, and when I opened my eyes, I was 21. When I woke up this morning, I was 25, a law student, and TIRED!  I never realized how fast that life goes by.  Especially when you are unhappy and you don’t like to admit it.  But being happy, finding what I was missing, has changed my life.  I was missing a relationship with God first and foremost, and since that happened, my life has kept going in the right direction.  The power of prayer and God’s plan for you is amazing!  As Keith and Eddie have said so many times in church, why people don’t want it I don’t know! I think I always wanted it but I was afraid.  And now that my life has taken all these wonderful turns, I believe even stronger. 

The sad part – I just wish my granny were still here. I know she is smiling, watching over me, but there isn’t a day that goes by I don’t miss her, and think about her, and wish I could tell her about the things in my life and wonder what she would say to me. I have tried to live my life continuously in a way that she would have been proud of. I would never want to let her down or disappoint her. 

I know my dad won’t be around forever, or my mom. But I have never loved or appreciated my parents and my brother and my entire family more than I do at this moment.  Because dysfunctional or not, we are a family. We are a team. We are one.

Maybe this all seems like a silly post to some of you.  Maybe it seems like I’m behind and I should have been playing catch up.  But I’ve heard you never realize what you have until it’s gone.  I’m trying to stay ahead of the game.  I’m in Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky, 5 nights a week, sometimes more, away from most everything I love.  If I hadn’t made such wonderful friends in law school, I’d have lost my mind by now.  But that is one thing I’m blessed with, loyal friends.  And not just here, but back home, too.  And you know who you are because we stay in contact, somehow.

I just want to thank all of you again – all of my loyal supporters – who have kept me going for so long.  When I’m having a down moment in school or life, all I have to do is post on Facebook and within minutes I have a load of comments cheering me up and giving me a pep talk and putting me back where I belong.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.  You will never know how much it means to me.

In closing, I am truly blessed with a life that is far better than I deserve.  The good Lord has seen to my happiness and pulled me through my trials and tribulations to build me into the person I am today.  I can’t wait to come home this summer and see my family and friends and be a part of my hometown and see all the faces that I’ve missed.  But until then, keep thinking about me, typing away at this computer at all hours, working on getting this second semester of law school completed, and one step closer to home… For good! 

By the way, did I mention that I’m in love with Frank Wayne Baker II?  I think he already knows, but just in case….

“Cause even the stars they burn,

Some even fall to the earth.

We’ve got a lot to learn,

But God knows we’re worth it.

No, I won’t give up.”

<3 Jess

Summer At A Glance: How My Life Changed Forever

You know those dreams you have, the ones when you wake up, you think, “Wow, I wish that really happened…” Well, I lived that moment, several times in fact, this summer. Only it wasn’t a dream. I lived it.  So many things happened where I stopped and thought, “I can’t believe this is reality.” It was one of two of the most perfect summers of my life. I say two because last summer was pretty perfect, for a lot of reasons. I found out who I am, I had a lot of fun, and I grew into the person I had always wanted to be. A lot of things were responsible, and a few people. One person especially, because they helped me realize my law dream and push me in the ways that I needed to succeed.  But alas, I have had multitudes of supporters in that department, and I absolutely cannot thank all of you enough. But let’s get back to the heart of the matter, this summer.

On May 11, before summer even began, and exactly one month to the day after receiving an email from Chase Law School stating they had received my application and would be getting back to me in four weeks – I got another email with the subject line “NKU – Congrats!”

I. Freaked. Out

I was at work and received the email on my phone. I was speechless for about all of two seconds. Then I just shouted, “I got in!!!!” to the entire bank lobby.  So my customer in the drive thru, and the customer that Randi was waiting on in the lobby, ended up having bad timing. They had to wait as two seemingly retarded blonde chicks decided to jump up and down and hug frantically in celebration mode. Then it was past time to switch back to reality. “Thank you, have a nice day!”

The first thing I did, obviously, was call my brother. He didn’t seem as thrilled as I’d hoped at the time, but he’s coming around. Slowly. Then I called my parents. They were excited. Then I sent out a mass text to my nearest and dearest friends and family telling them the good news. It was a surreal moment in my life. A day I thought would never come, when I could actually announce with certainty my admission into a school of law.

Before this time, I had given up on it. Well, not entirely, but I thought that it was probably best I did. I knew my LSAT scores weren’t adequate, and I honestly felt that taking the LSAT again would be more than excruciating after my first two attempts. And you can only take it twice in three years. It just didn’t seem like the dream was going to fall into place. So, I started looking for other options. Not that I didn’t love working at the bank, because I did. But it was never going to pay me what I needed to live on, and it was never going to give me the opportunity to move up and be the successful person I had always dreamed of being. Or if it did, I would probably be near retirement.

I applied for a marketing job in Hazard that paid pretty well. I got an interview, thought I had the job, but they sent me a letter a week later telling me they had found a better candidate. Ugh. Sadness. I actually had a degree for that one.

So. I knew I loved kids. I knew I loved being around kids. I had once thought of being a teacher. Why not? I began getting feedback from some important people in my life and their thoughts on the subject, which rendered mixed reviews from all. Everyone knew my real dream and they didn’t want to discourage me but they weren’t going to lie and tell me they thought I would make a bad teacher either. So. I looked into programs. I had always loved LMU – the area, the school, and the feel. They had an 18-month Masters program that would allow me to teach with my music business degree. Again, why not?

One week after I had decided I would try to apply to the program, I got my acceptance into Chase, the school I had really wanted to go to. I knew it was meant to be. At this point, I can really only thank God, my parents, and a small handful of other people who helped me get there.  Mostly God. Here’s why: He made it happen.

I’m drifting away from the task at hand, which is how this summer was life-changing, but there is a point. All my life I’ve heard the phrase “everything happens for a reason.” When I got that acceptance letter, I believed it.

So many things had to come together for me to be able to end up at that place. First, my three-year relationship had to end last year. It was a devastating blow, but it was really for the best. I had to find a way to get back on my feet, pull myself together, and force myself to do some soul searching that I desperately needed. I had to ask myself what I wanted out of life, not what I was willing to settle for. I had to have a conversation that would change my life with someone who would also change my life, which would lead to me taking the LSAT for the first time. I had to fail miserably the first time, enough to really put my heart into it the second time, and get tutoring from the bestest tutor ever, Clarissa Constantine. Then there was the horrid day, in which I took the LSAT the second time, and which if you all read the blog about it then you know that God was in control or I would never have even been admitted to take the test. But I failed miserably again. So, I felt like my dream was gone. It just made me appreciate it that much more when I got in. And realize I had help.

Not only that, but I recently found out that I didn’t get the marketing job in Hazard because I had a faulty background check. They saw some other Jessica Lewis who had a record and wouldn’t hire me. However, if they hadn’t, they would have hired me, and I would never have applied to law school. Everything happens for a reason…

After the LSAT scores the first time were horrible, I was hesitant to apply to any school. I didn’t apply to UK at all. I didn’t want laughed at. I applied to a school in Charlotte, NC, Knoxville, TN, and I waited to apply to Chase.  Randomly, I got an email from the admissions officer at Chase, telling me they were still accepting applications. I emailed her back and explained my situation, that my scores were probably too low, and I was afraid to apply and have a rejection on my record with them in case I retook the LSAT. She sent me a chart breaking down the scores and GPA of the accepted students from the last entering class. She told me to look at the chart, examine the odds, and make a decision.

The chart, following my GPA and LSAT score, showed that four students within my range had applied last year, but only one had been accepted.  I folded it around in my mind for a moment. Looking at it one way, that was a 25% chance. 25% was better than the 0% I expected. I started telling my formal decision maker at work, Amber Barger, all about it. She was always the first person I asked these things if they should happen at work, but her opinion was always summoned at some point. I liked her train of thought. She made concentrated, calculated, and wise decisions. I remember turning to her and saying, “I could be THE ONE!” She agreed to the possibilities and told me I should apply.  Then I started working hard core on my application, and my personal statement.  I was honest, I was open, and every word I spoke, I meant. It was time to convince them why they should take a chance on the backwards girl from Leslie County.  I’d like to think that my personal statement was what got me in, but like the old question of “how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?” well, “the world may never know.”

What does matter, is that I got in. And I wanted to celebrate. So we dive back into summer.

My dear cousin Elizabeth mentioned the idea of a cruise to me while at a family dinner. I had often tumbled the idea of a cruise around in my head, especially with my beloved roommate who had planned to be my cruise partner up until her move to Chicago and engagement happened. Again, why not?

We booked a cruise to the Bahamas.  Bingo!

Four days and four nights on the water, rocking to the rhythm of the waves, or the rain I suppose, if the Judds had been there. Point being, I was going to celebrate law school acceptance, a feat I thought impossible, in style, by doing something I had never done before. I wanted to be adventurous for once. Until the second big email I got, subject line: NKU Chase – KLEO Recipient.

Kentucky

Legal

Education

Opportunity

In the words of my dear banjo-picking friend Obadiah Golding, “Wait, what now?”

Upon opening the email I found I was being offered a $5000 scholarship to my school (bada-bing, bada-boom!). Reading further, I saw that to obtain this scholarship I was to spend 12 days on UK’s campus. In a dorm. Showering with other people.

Ew.

I had never stayed in a dorm. Ever. I missed that whole experience, and I wasn’t really thrilled about getting it this late in the game. But…it’s five grand! The quickest and probably easiest $5000 bucks I’ll ever make. Maybe. Let’s hope not…I am in law school.

I check the dates. It’s sooner than I thought…I would have to leave work a week early. But something else looked funny about the dates….oh…yeah…of course. It would happen right in the middle of my cruise. Well, vice versa I suppose. But still.

Decisions, decisions.

Let’s weigh this option. It costs about 500 bucks to rebook, OR, I can turn down five grand. What was the problem again? So I rebooked my cruise, and prepared for what I thought would be the most horrid 12 days of my life. Boy, was I wrong.

It was the most sleepless 12 days of my life, but certainly not the worst, not even close. Upon arriving, I discovered there were five students from each law school in Kentucky, and a returning mentor who had completed the program a year before. What a diverse group of people I was seeing, but then again, it is a diversity scholarship. Ah, makes sense.

The first person I saw was Professor Allison Connelly, or as we learned to love her later, Professor C. I didn’t know what to make of her at first. I don’t read people well on first impressions usually, so I just watched during our lunch registration and attempted to fill out the other students.  All of a sudden, a girl comes running frantically into the building yelling, “Who’s in charge?! Who’s in charge?!”

Professor C runs to her in a state of a semi-calm panic mode, and announces that she, in fact, is the leader of this here outfit. She, like the rest of us, probably thought a murder had just occurred, or a drive by, maybe even a shanking. It was hard to tell with the level of emotion this person had expressed.  Turns out, she was just afraid of being towed. Introducing Scarlett Steuart, UK law student. We all found it funny, and we still redneck her over it. Who wouldn’t?

Now to tell you the occurrences in their entirety would take 12 days to write, and to read. We did a lot, so I will attempt to give you the ‘meat and taters,’ if you will. For 12 days, we were in law school. We had class from 9 to 5. Somewhere in there we ate; Professor C did feed us good. We never went hungry. Especially Jeremy Fugate, also known as the human garbage disposal.  I froze to death, so bad I had to bring a blanket at least once, but a jacket I required daily.  At night, we went to eat with our specific class group, anywhere we wanted. So believe that I ate GOOD for 12 days. So good that I would attempt to take the 10 flights of stairs to my dorm at least once a day in attempt to burn a few stray calories. Gee, that was fun. Not.

But what was fun was the dorm life. I really thought I would hate it, and I’ll be honest, still not crazy about the shower thing, but it wasn’t as bad as I expected. I didn’t mind it. I found a roommate indirectly. We had our own room, but just like Carl and Frank, the boy, in Sling Blade, Laken Gilbert, another UK law student, well we made friends right off the bat. Despite the fact that she was on one end of the political spectrum, doing diligent work with the Democratic Party, and I as a proud eastern Kentuckian am on the other end.  She moved into my room after a couple days and we were seldom to be separated after. I always like telling this story. Laken had me at “No, you will see my meth lab!”

The story behind that is we were in our rooms one morning sitting on Facebook. I messaged her to see if I could come down and hang with her. Her response, “No, you will see my meth lab!” Now, while some people wouldn’t find this funny, I thought it was hilarious. She had my sense of humor, and we understood each other. We made a good team. And I miss her. *Sad face*. I miss them all. Some days, I really wish there was a KLEO School of Law. But, I digress.

Anyway, back to the point.  Those 12 days were tough at times, but they still rocked. We had real class, real finals, real professors – it was a boot camp. It taught us some of the most important things we could ever hope to learn about law school, and gave us a HUGE jump on the “dead weight” as our bewildering, yet always entertaining, Professor Bucknam would say.  Professor Douglas was intimidating, but really quite humorous in his own right, especially after the program had ended we had some good conversation. Those professors made me wish for a time I was going to UK. I loved Professor Price, she was one of the coolest people professors I had ever met – funny, nice, and super smart. Her and Professor C made a good team.  Also during this time, we did cool things too, like eating lunch with the Supreme Court of Kentucky, eating lunch with the Dean of our schools, meeting some past KLEO participants, and other important figures, not to mention shadowing a judge or attorney for a day. That day was really fun. I almost saw a fist fight in motion hour.  Professor C really took care of us. So now I will talk about her.

Professor C is one of the most influential people I have ever met. As I was told, she has basically never charged a dime to any client. She runs the legal clinic at UK and does all pro-bono. She’s thebomb.com, in other words. She has ran the KLEO program for 10 years. She has been helping students get their legal education for many years as a professor. She is an exceptional teacher and friend. This woman believed in us, before she even met us. She wanted us to succeed, and she felt in her heart of hearts that we would. She pushed us, she challenged us, she laughed with us, cried with us, and she loved us. I will never forget these words, “From this day forward, you’re mine, ALL of you.” And as fellow KLEO member Laura Myers stated, we all feel like that goes both ways. She is our rock, our safe place, and our light at the end of the tunnel when the days get too rough. We think about her and all she has vested in us, and we move forward like there is no other choice, because there isn’t. We won’t quit, ever, because of her. She believes in our success, and she will be there to share it with us in every way. We love you Professor C, and we miss you terribly!

 She had a banquet for us at the end of the program where we were awarded certificates as completion of the program. Us Chase people found out that our school was the only one renewing the scholarship so we will end up getting $15,000. That was great news. But most of all we learned valuable skills that we will always hold with us. I met friends that I will keep forever, I crossed boundaries that most people in my hometown wouldn’t dare cross or ever have the chance to, making friends with people from different walks of life, from countries as far as Serbia, or counties as close as Harlan. Amanda Birman and I hit it off too; she understood the words “Cumberland Gap water” and “Don’s Supersaver cakes” and how precious those words were to the folks back home. We threw her a surprise birthday party since she didn’t get to be home with her family. It was a sad day packing up and moving out to come back home. However, it was a memorable experience, one of the best in my life, and one I will hold dear for years and years to come. We will always be a family.      

I will list the names of my KLEO peeps here, because I don’t want to leave anyone out. We lived together, learned together, and loved together. We are a family. Always.

UK Students:

Chelsea Granville

Laken Gilbert

Carl Williams

Scarlett Steuart

Laura Myers

James “Tee” Pennington (Mentor)

U of L Students:

Sana Abhari

Chris Jenkins

Amanda Birman

Grace Chambers

Mijlia Zgonanine

Aaron Marcus (Mentor)

Chase Students:

Jessica Lewis (Me, duh.)

Lindsay Oakes

Jeremy Fugate

Danny Ackeret

Michele Nguyen

BreAnna Morgan (Mentor)

There is something special to be said about each of these people. They are all great and I am proud to have been a part of the same program with them all. I wish the best of luck to them all as well.

Now, let’s get this show on the road.

After returning from my scholarship program, I only had a few days before the cruise. My mom and dad decided to let me fly to Miami, where we would be porting from, as opposed to driving, which would have been really dumb. Kentucky to Miami….like 17 hours…. yeah, no.

We flew out of Lexington, and I thought I was going to be really nervous. But no. I wasn’t.  Not at all. I just sat there. We took off.  We landed. We waited. We took off again.  We landed again. Boom. Four hours later, we’re in Miami. It really beat 17 hours let me tell you. And I Ioved it! I absolutely loved it!! I honestly can’t wait to fly again. So we get to Miami, grab a hotel close to the port, and chill for a while. That night, we walked across the street to this place called Bayside where they had an outdoor type mall, lots of food, a stage next to the water where the dock was, and we had a blast. Dancing on the pier, eating ice cream, watching the boats roll in and out, it was great. The next morning we left for the boat.

It. Was. Amazing.

I loved every second of that cruise. I treasured it all, day by day, every minute.   We ate on the top deck watching the water, we lay by the pool, we watched comedy shows, we danced into the night, I learned the John Travolta, and we slept very little. On the beach days, we did crazy but fun things. We took a banana boat ride where we thought we were going to die a couple times. Flying through the ocean jumping off the waves because the boat pulling you is doing 90 mph isn’t as much fun as you’d think. We bought souvenirs. I snorkeled and swam in the ocean, not to mention seeing the ocean for the first time. I fell in love with it, too. Sometimes I would go stand on the top deck and just stare out at the water. It was the most relaxing, calming, crystal clear thinking I had ever done. If you’ve never been, you have to go, at least once.  It was definitely an amazing experience. I had so much fun, and I survived. We got back to Miami, spent a day on the beach, shopped around, and flew back the next morning.

This was my favorite picture from the cruise. It’s my favorite picture of me I’ve ever taken. If I could go back to that moment daily, it would be fabulous. There are some moments that you wish could be frozen in time. This is one of mine. I will always cherish that moment, the way I felt, the thoughts surrounding my mind, and the view as I stared out into the open water at sunset. The most gorgeous view I’ve ever seen.  

After returning from vacation I spent the next week packing, moving, and making rounds either seeing or talking in some way to the people most important in my life and explaining to them the decision I had made – where it would take me, and how I may be absent from their lives for a while, but asking them to keep me present in their thoughts. I know I’m not leaving forever, but I am going to be gone a while. I’ll get to come home and visit, like I did this weekend, but not that often. Something I have found hard to deal with.

I have just completed my second week as a law student – one week of orientation, and one true week of classes. The first day was pretty rough. When I got home, after taking a break from unpacking, it finally hit me; I was gone, I was alone, and there was no turning back. I cried for about 45 minutes, but then I was OK. I have adjusted well I think, and I really do like it. I like the learning, and although the Socratic method makes some people’s heads hurt, I kind of like it. It gives me a rush.  I like being prepared for it. The work is a lot but nothing I can’t handle. I’m pretty ambitious, I’m pretty tough, and I’m very determined. I’m from the foothills of Eastern Kentucky, I’ve already run into political disagreements that didn’t turn out well, but I can’t be expected to stand idly by and listen to people badmouth the coal industry that is currently helping pay for my education, and so much more in my hometown. Everyone has the right to their opinion but I can’t be expected to cave in when someone who knows nothing of the topic and has never lived here or seen it first hand is challenging the livelihood of my friends and family to me. So, know that you are being well defended in the north my friends. I indeed have your back.

To end this little chronicle, I conclude that this has been a perfect, life-changing summer. I am living out my dream, finally, after all these years. I was able to do things that I thought I would never do, and I have finally made it to where I need to be. It’s been a slow struggle. Next month, I will turn 25, not where I had imagined myself up to this point, but I am so thankful to be here. I am so grateful to have walked the road I did, and ended up in this very spot of my journey. Again, everything happens for a reason. I don’t look like every other law student. I certainly don’t act like every other law student. Nonetheless, that’s what I am.

I miss my job at the bank. I miss my co-workers and friends, my family, and my routine. But this is something I had to do. I had to go after that dream, I know now I would never have been satisfied had I not. The very moment I got that acceptance email, I realized how bad I had wanted it. The moment I set foot in Professor C’s Criminal Law class at KLEO, I knew how much I was going to love it. I love a good challenge, and it looks like I’ve finally met my match.

On another note, let me just say from the bottom of my heart to all who reads, thank you. I have been absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of support I have received from my community, my family, and my friends. It has meant so much to have you all backing me, encouraging me, and putting the faith in me that you have. Everyday I receive countless Facebook messages, comments and likes, text messages, and indirect comments delivered to me by others like my parents from people who send me their well wishes and love. Never in my life did I expect to be a part of so many lives, and I am humbled by the respect, love, and faith that you have bestowed upon me. I promise that I will not let you down, in any right. I will make Leslie County proud. 

This may be my last blog for a while as I am embarking on one long, hard, but rewarding journey. Please do continue to keep in contact. I love hearing from everyone and it makes the days when I feel so far from home a little easier.

This morning I was so excited to be back in church. Keith always seems to know when I need to hear something, and this morning part of his sermon was about ‘givin’ it all you got.’ Church and the family I have there has really helped this to all come together for me, too, and it’s hard not being able to make it every Sunday anymore. Faith is something that we all should have, but some of us do not nearly have enough.  Between my support system throughout this county and the church, I have so much more faith than I used to. God really can do so much; I am living proof.

Now off to my other favorite part of coming home on a Sunday – Lewis family dinner.

God bless and love to all,

Jess