It’s Time to Heal.
It’s Just Time.
I have a message to deliver to whoever needs to hear it –
it’s time for you to heal. It’s just time. Start now, right this minute. Don’t
wait until tomorrow, tomorrow isn’t promised.
Today is Thanksgiving. We all have something to be grateful
for. But we often let that be overshadowed by the bad in our lives and the
struggles we are going through. But today, I ask you, be thankful for healing
and let it happen.
As a community, as friends, as neighbors, and just as
humans, we have faced a lot lately. We have mourned the deaths of so many close
to us that we thought we’d have more time with. For some of us, our demons are
a bit less temporary than a one bad day. For some of us, our families are
addicts; our spouses or significant others or the people we thought we would
love forever have abandoned us; our parents are sick or dying; our friends are
struggling, and all we can do is watch. But to all of us I say this – someone
else is struggling more than you. Someone else is facing challenges worse than
yours. Someone else is wondering how they will survive tomorrow. Someone,
somewhere, may not make it through the night.
As some of you know, I went through a rough time not long
ago. I lost people close to me. Some
expected, which still had no bearing on how easy it was to give them up, and
one unexpected. But not only was I mourning the loss of important people, I was
mourning the loss of myself. I had
become so buried in my job, family and friend obligations, my own personal
demons and fear of failing, relationships that were not serving me well, and
parts of life in general that were not making sense to me, that I became a
shell of who I used to be. And I could feel myself slipping into this world of
disappointment and depression, of anger and resentment, and so many other
emotions that are not at all reflective of whom I am as a person. There were
days I did not care about my life, or what happened to it. And that is not at
all who I am. It has taken weeks to get back to who I was and am. To see the
big picture. To repair the damage. To fix what was broken inside me. I’m not
completely 100% yet, either, but I’m so much closer. I’m taking steps to better
myself all the way around and you can, too. But you have to start. You have to
be brave and start the process and make tough decisions and let God lead the
way.
And, so, here is my inspirational speech of the day.
#1.) Don’t give up. On anything, that is important to you,
but mainly, on yourself. Do not quit
on yourself, because everyone else most likely will. Maybe not everyone, but
the people you don’t want to give up on you, generally will.
It doesn’t matter if you were there for them. It doesn’t
matter how much you love them. It doesn’t matter what you think should happen.
It doesn’t matter what great reasons you have to ask them not to give up on
you, they will anyway. Because, it’s what people do. They leave. When they feel
like things are getting too hard, or more effort is needed, they leave. They
make excuses. They leave you behind. And you have to find a way to move on.
Because, you owe it to yourself. Because you’ve spent years learning your
worth, and you are worth more than the people who make you feel like you are
hard to love or asking for too much.
#2.) Don’t let your circumstances define you. You are not
what has broken you. You are not your bad decisions. You are not your mistakes.
You are not the choices of other people.
You cannot live with guilt or continue to punish yourself
because of one bad decision or one mistake. You cannot beat yourself up over
something that won’t matter in 5 years or even 5 days. Let it go. Let the
situation just be what it is and move on. You cannot allow temporary situations
to leave you with permanent consequences. You cannot accept that this will be
your life forever. You cannot allow the sadness and bitterness taking over your
days to remain for an extended period of time. You may feel stuck. You may feel
lost. You may feel like your life will never make sense. You may feel like you
will never be happy. Those are all negative thoughts. Negative thoughts will
never lead you to a positive life. Negative people will never show you positive
outlooks. You have to look past the negative. Always look for the positive.
#3.) Nothing is Permanent. The storm won’t last forever. It can’t last forever. Be strong like waves
and ride it out. This too, shall pass.
Every storm runs out of rain. Nothing lasts forever. There is light at the end of the tunnel and
your bad days are only temporary. Take deep breaths. Smile more. Find new ways
to pass the time. Do things that make you happy. Don’t wait to be happy later.
Be happy now. Find your passion. Find
your purpose. Find the things that make your face light up with excitement and
do more of them. Happiness makes the time pass faster.
#4.) Let yourself grieve. For the loved ones you lost. For
the living people who left you. For anyone or anything that you lost. For any
bad thing that happened to you. Give yourself the time to say goodbye.
It’s been a tough year. I’ve lost quite a few people myself.
Death is a part of life. It doesn’t mean it hurts less. It doesn’t mean you
forget them. It doesn’t mean that you will ever be the same. You probably won’t
be. But don’t let a broken heart or a grieving heart stay too long. You still
have life to live. The people who passed on that were a huge part of your life
that you loved would not want you to give up. They would not want you to spend
the rest of your life in mourning. They would want you to laugh. Carry their
memory and move on, smiling and laughing and being happy. And the living ones
who left you behind, they don’t matter. They don’t care. Maybe they never did.
Don’t let those people dictate the rest of your life. Be yourself and keep
going. The right people will come and stay. It’s ok to grieve. It’s not ok to dwell on the bad and let it
bring you down continuously.
#5.) Find the YAY in every day. Look for the positive. See
the good. Ignore the bad.
Look for the things that make your day great, Maybe someone
held the door open for you. Maybe someone let you out in front of them on the
highway. Maybe you got to see somebody you hadn’t seen in a while. Maybe you
heard some good music. Maybe you found something you’d been looking for. Maybe
your dog did something cute. Maybe you made a new friend. Maybe you got to eat
your favorite meal. Maybe you went to the gym for the first time in your life
and had an amazing workout and found a new passion. Look for little things.
Look for anything that made you smile. Look for something that made the day
just a little more bearable. Focus on the good, and only the good.
#6.) Let toxic people
go. Let go of the people who drag you down. Let go of the people who threaten
your peace and happiness. Just. Let. Go.
It is not your responsibility to fix everyone and
everything. The people you care about, the people who are in your life and need
you, the people that care about you, and who are there when you need them, its
ok to help them. It’s ok to love them and be there and pick them up when they
fall down. But the people who use you, who threaten your peace, who make you
feel bad for doing what is best for you and what makes you happy, they don’t
need you and you certainly don’t need them. You only have room in your life
(and your head) for the people who are happy for your happiness and do not make
you feel guilty for living your life. And don’t get me wrong, you should be
helping others. You should be doing little things to make people happy and
brighten their day and bring more good to the world. But don’t let people who
want to drain you have a seat at your table. They don’t belong there.
#7.) Be the good. Be the light. Be the change you wish to
see in the world.
It only takes one kind act to make someone’s day. It only
takes one smile or one gesture to bring a smile to someone’s face and change
their whole attitude for the day. Be that person who does nice things. Be the
person who pays for the person’s meal. Be that person who offers assistance. Be
the person who makes it a point to have a good day and spread good vibes.
Compliment a stranger. Thank someone for something. Show compassion. Show
appreciation. It really costs nothing to be kind and make someone’s day.
Just. Be. Kind.
#8.) Be selfish sometimes. Put yourself first. Don’t let a
bad day or a bad hour ruin a good life.
It’s ok to not text back. It’s ok to not talk. It’s ok to
take a break. It’s ok to do what’s best for you. You’re the only one who knows
what’s best for you. You’re the only person who can change your life. Sometimes
that might require a hard decision. Sometimes you might make decisions no one
understands but you. Sometimes you have to break your own heart. But you are
the master of your fate (with God’s help, of course). You just have to be who
you want. Be the person that makes you happy. Be selfish in getting to that
person because nobody can do it for you. Take control of your life and turn it
into the life you’ve always imagined.
#9.) Pray about Everything. Everything. No matter what.
No matter how many people believe otherwise, God is in
control. He is in control of your life and He has His own timing. As hard as it
is to accept and wonder about some days. We are always in a hurry. This fast
paced world has changed our outlook to a world of convenience and necessary
speed. We leave too late but we make it up on the road. We don’t like waiting
for food at a restaurant or in line for coffee. We try too hard to speed up
everything in life. I am guilty myself. But everything comes in the perfect
time. We all need to slow down and enjoy the present. The future will be here
soon enough. Like as a child, all we wanted were to be adults. Sometimes, we
reminisce about how simple life was as a child and long for that simplicity
again. Just enjoy where you are now. Everything will come at the right time.
#10.) YOU ARE ENOUGH. Know your worth.
This is huge. HUGE. Do not let the actions of others destroy
your self-esteem and your self worth. Know your worth and never let anyone take
that away from you. We all traveled roads to get to where we are now. We all
made choices and led ourselves to this moment. We all fought battles. We all
had hard times. But don’t let people who think less of themselves or who are
jealous of your accomplishments make you feel like you are less of a person. You
can be as good as gold and still not be good enough for the wrong people. The
right people will appreciate you. The right people will come in your life and
stay. They won’t abandon you. They won’t make you feel like you’ve failed or
like you aren’t enough or like you are too much. You will always be enough for
the right people in your life. ALWAYS. The people who took you for granted will
have to deal with those repercussions.
NOW. Take a minute and breathe. And look for the happy in
your life. Look for the good. Look for the accomplishments. Look for the
positives about you.
For me, I have a sleeping, dreaming puppy next to me. I have
one outside guarding my house. I have my own house, in a nice neighborhood with
great neighbors. I have a nice vehicle. I have a good job. I have amazing
friends. I have a wonderful family. I have a wonderful work family. I have a
big heart who only wants the best for others. Today I will celebrate with friends who have become family and family, too. I cooked Friendsgiving dinner for my friends this past weekend,
because they are who have gotten me through this year and who care about me and
who keep me on my feet. Be thankful for those people. Work friends, too. Be
thankful for anyone who has gotten you through a bad moment and left you with a
smile. And now, start paying it forward. Start living again. Start being kind
to yourself. Start giving yourself credit. Stop feeling like less of a person
because of the struggles you are going through. Work through those struggles.
You would be surprised at the amount of strength you have hidden within you. As
Dean Winchester said on Supernatural a few weeks ago, “we owe it to anybody who
has ever given a damn about us to keep putting one foot in front of the other,
no matter what.” We do. We owe it to them. To the people who have helped us get
here. To the people who have genuinely cared and loved us. More importantly, we
owe it to ourselves.
Today is a day to be thankful. Start today, being thankful
for what you have and grateful for every day, and take this day as a start to
healing. Today is the perfect day. I am so thankful for all the blessings in my
life, and I am so thankful for healing. Let today be the day that begins the
rest of your life and let the blessings overflow.
It’s time to heal, y’all. May we all heal from the silent
battles we are fighting with ourselves, and the ones in the open.
