The Good Ole Days

Since my granny's passing in 2007, my family and I have continued the tradition of Sunday dinner in her honor once a month at her home.  We potluck, reminisce, laugh and remember the good ole days.  It's not the same without her by any means, but some things never change.  Like today.

We had our Thanksgiving get together.  There was so much food it took up two tables, and of course like tradition all the desserts were placed on the deep freezer.  I don't know who started that or why it continues, but some things are not meant to be questioned--that's just how we roll.  There were two types of everything there, from Mac n' Cheese to sweet potato casserole, turkey, etc.  Needless to say, there was more than enough food and plenty left over, a very rare occurrence.  No one left hungry.

As usual, there were children of all ages.  Sometime between 2006 and 2009 there was a baby boom in my family.  Literally, there were AT LEAST 14 kids born during that time.  It's strange because I was thinking today as they all ran a circle around the fireplace, some things really never change.  I couldn't tell you how many times my generation of cousins and I have ran that same circle until one of us ended up hurt, and then we were all scolded to sit down and stop running.  It amazes me just how much doesn't change.  Those kids do the same exact thing my bunch did.  They hide in the same places, climb the same trees, make the same mistakes with their parents, and it literally shocks me.  It's like a weird case of deja vu.  It's almost like I'm reliving some moments in my past.  The sad part -- my grandmother isn't going to be in their memories.

This generation will not eat her chicken and dumplings, her made-from-scratch biscuits, or her meatloaf.  This generation will not hear her laugh so hard she cries and gets so tickled she can't finish her story.  I guess I inherited that from her.  This generation will not experience the warmth of her hugs and the gentleness of her soul.  They won't remember the $20 dollars in cash and gift from Belks that she gave to every single grandchild each year.  They won't understand the significance of why the pictures are not to be moved, of why the curtains will not be changed, the roosters are still on the shelf in the kitchen, and why her room is locked tighter than a drum.  They won't get why the flower bushes are not to be touched.  They won't remember why the ramp was built on to the side of the house, or the significance of the house itself.  They won't hear any of her stories about her childhood and taking care of her siblings after her mother died, or how she raised 10 kids with an alcoholic and abusive husband.  They won't have any idea why the best thing in life is sitting on the porch in a cool breeze drinking an RC cola and eating a moon pie, preferably vanilla.  They won't know that granny's favorite time of year was fall, and that she loved Ponderosa, or any buffet for that matter.  She just loved food.

It is so hard some days, remembering the days when the first place you went when you walked in the door was the kitchen.  Granny would be sitting there, peeling taters, or mixing cornbread with her hands.  She never measured anything.  Her silver hair would be tied back and one leg would be propped up on a chair.  she had a rag in one hand and a fork in the other.  "Hi sweet darlin'," she would say.  Her laugh will be stuck in my head for years and years to come.  I hope I never forget it.             

My grandmother is the only person thus far I have ever lost that was extremely close to me.  My grandpa always terrified me so I kept my distance, so much that when he died I barely remember crying.  My mom's dad died when I was 6 months old, and my mom's mom, well, she was special, but I never quite knew her like my dad's mom.  As sad as it is to say, I don't think I loved her as much as my dad's mom either.  She meant everything to me.  I have so many regrets from how I handled losing her, but I know she is in a better place, and I know that she knew I loved her.  I remember her most on days like today, surrounded by the family she created, the family she loved, and the family who will keep her memory alive. 

I should be studying for the LSAT right now, considering that I haven't and it's in a week.  But when something like this weighs on your mind you haven't much room for anything else.  I don't know where the time went.  5 years ago I was leaving my granny's house and not realizing that I wouldn't share another Thanksgiving with her.  5 years ago, I thought I had all the time in the world with the people I love.  Everyone says that "back in the good ole days..." blah, blah, blah.  The good ole days still exist as long as we are alive and can enjoy those we love that are still with us.  No, Merle, as bad as I hate to say that you are wrong, the good times are in fact not really over.  I miss my granny, but it has taught me to live life, and spend time with those you love while you still have the chance and so do they.  Make the best of what time you have, and always save room for the good ole days.